Employees Will Leave Your Firm: How You Handle It Matters

Your reaction says a lot about you as an owner. I witness the full spectrum of reactions when a team member puts in their notice at a client's firm. And the more seasoned owners who feel confident in the way that they're running their business, I watch them react when someone puts in their notice. And even when there's shock, because there may be shock, they recover quickly. And the reason they recover quickly is because they don't bring a lot of drama to it in their mind, even if there's shock.

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Hi everyone, welcome to the Law Firm Owner Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Today, we are going to talk about people who leave your firm. And when I say people, I mean team members. The truth is, you own a business. And the truth is, people take jobs at a business, and the other truth is, people leave their jobs at businesses. Expecting that people might leave is important.

Now, you can reduce the risk of people leaving because you really work on the culture, or you make sure that it is a great place to work. But I see people swing the pendulum so far one way to spoil their employees, and I did an episode on, you have to engineer generosity. You can't just be generous without the business being able to afford it.

And so I do see that a lot where people, it's almost out of fear. They want this culture because they don't want anybody to leave. They want everybody to stay forever. And so they create these scenarios that are untenable for the business to uphold. And it gets them into trouble in the long term. So I do see that and I don't recommend that at all. 

But being responsible and engineering generosity is something you can do in this business. And you can provide an environment that people want to stay in. But you're always going to deal with people who will put in their notice. If you own a firm, that is something you're going to deal with. It's because you own a business, and a business employs people, and people do what is in the best interest of themselves, as they should, by the way. People will leave for various reasons. Maybe it's because it doesn't make sense for them to work anymore. Their life circumstances have changed and it doesn't make sense anymore. And so they may put in their notice for that reason.

Someone may put in their notice because they did receive an offer that was too good to pass up. It is better for them and their future and the future of their family or their loved ones. And so they decide to take it. Sometimes it's that they are just in a phase of life where they don't want this anymore. They're uninterested, they're burned out, they're whatever. They're going to go do something else.

Sometimes it might be that they really don't like some of the conditions that they're currently working in, meaning there's a toxic person there that's being tolerated at your firm and somebody great is going to be over it at some point and they're going to move on. 

There's all different kinds of reasons people move on and it's not just the reasons that I listed. There's more. There's more reasons. But the truth is, you own a business, people work for your business, you pay people to do a job at your business, and there may be a day that they decide to put in their notice. And when they do, your reaction says a lot about you as an owner. And here's what I mean. I witness the full spectrum of reactions when a team member puts in their notice at a client's firm. 

And the more seasoned owners who feel confident in the way that they're running their business and they are mature business owners because of the experience that they have and because of the changes that they made and where they've gotten their business to and all the rest of it, I watch them react when someone puts in their notice. And even when there's shock, because there may be shock, they recover quickly. And the reason they recover quickly is because they don't bring a lot of drama to it in their mind, even if there's shock.

So, I watched someone earlier this year who was a seasoned business owner that we work with. And they were like, kind of shrugged their shoulders. They were like, yeah, I was shocked and, you know, one foot in front of the other. 

Let's go. I need to, I'm putting feelers out to replace that position and it's got to be a good fit. So if it takes a little time, it takes a little time. And, you know, one foot in front of the other. That's their stance. 

Now, another type of business owner who's on the other end of the spectrum in terms of, I guess, maturity is a business owner, and I don't I don't mean that like emotional maturity, but to some extent that's true. I mean, when you really think about a seasoned business owner, it's someone who doesn't run on feelings. They are more objective in situations more of the time. And that does take, that comes with experience and growth. And so there is a maturity that happens there. So if you have less experience with that, then what that can look like and what I've seen it look like is a full-on meltdown from the owner. 

Someone puts in their notice and it was a key position, let's say. I'll even give the benefit of the doubt here. It's not, it's a key position. There is full on panic that sets in. And I do understand where they're coming from and I meet them where they are, but I don't wallow in their pool of pity with them. Because if I do, then I'm not helping them. If I do, it just means I'm trying to relate to them. And I want them to understand that I understand why they feel the way they feel. 

And let's, you need to give yourself like a set amount of time to process this. And if you really are messed up by it, then you need more time to process it, but you need to dedicate space to process it. You can't just move forward in this sad, self-pity where it's, it's really just got you down. You can't just move through days and weeks of that.

If that is you, you need to have a set period of time where you actually decide to wallow in it and explore and figure out why you're feeling the way you're feeling or whatever. A therapist is a really great resource to have if this is if you find yourself in that scenario. 

And there's no judgment. There's nothing wrong with that. If you find yourself in that scenario where you feel like emotionally you are drowning because of this person putting in their notice, that's a problem for you and for the firm to be able to move forward in the ways that you want to in the healthiest ways possible. And so, the most reasonable thing you can do is to go get some sort of facilitated help to think through it and get underneath that and figure out what is it about your history and all the full makeup of who you are right now. Why are you having such a hard time with it? I think it's so good to explore that if you are having such a hard time with it.

And you should do it with a professional. You should just do it. This is, it's very, I think people feel like if you don't already see a therapist, I think people feel like it can be so far-fetched in terms of how do you find the right one and then you have to take time out of your day and all of that. But truthfully, it's the most efficient way to process things if you're really struggling to process things. So get yourself a therapist and do that. That's my recommendation. 

Now, on that end of the spectrum though, my point going back to how you move forward, when you're stuck in the emotion of it, if you have a lot of resentment, if you are mad about it, if you are hurt deeply by it, the perspective that you don't have that you want to start to have an awareness that is possible to have, maybe not in this moment, but it is the way that you can, you could get yourself to the place of being a little less in the feelings of it all and more in the logistical pieces of it all.

And like, what do you have to line up with now? Right? What do you have to do to line yourself up with having someone fill that position if you choose to fill it? Sometimes people decide to reorganize the work or redistribute the work, and that's totally fair and acceptable as well. 

But if you need to fill the role, then you have to line yourself up with that as efficiently as possible because that's what the business needs. And when you're an owner, you are a leader in this business. And if you are struggling, like you're just emotionally in this spot that is really heavy, then it's going to hinder you being able to see what right next steps you should be taking to line yourself up with the best case scenario for this business, given that the person is leaving. 

Now, so that's there's sort of two ends of the spectrum that I've explained to you. And then there's the middle ground. And the middle ground is usually not someone who gets stuck for an extended period of time in this sort of wallowing in it. Which again, listen, there isn't judgment for wherever you are on the spectrum. It's an awareness.

And when you can start to wake up and see where you are on the spectrum, then you can figure out, how do you get yourself up to the next notch or two on this spectrum? How can you push yourself for growth so that you are leading from a better place for the health of this business?

And so in the middle of the spectrum, it's not as, it doesn't bury you as much from a feelings perspective and from a resentment perspective, but it still is very difficult. There's a panic that sets in that about the person leaving and there's something dramatic that happens in our brains about all the things that need to be done now and all the work that's in front of us to get someone new through the door and to train that person. There's like a story, a narrative that is happening internally that is not adding any value to your experience or to the health of the firm. But it is what's happening. 

And that's in the middle spectrum. So yes, you do these things, but you do them with this heaviness inside and like dragging your feet and this attitude about what it means moving forward, that's going to suck the life out of you and it's going to take forever for things to, you know, start working in the business the way that they were, like whatever, whatever your story is.

And the reason I wanted to do this episode is because wherever you are on the spectrum, you're likely not, if you are a listener to this podcast. There are very few of you who are at the end of the spectrum where it's just like, all right, let's roll. One foot in front of the other. It doesn't ping you like with this depth of emotion. It is just you do the next right thing.

And it's not because those people are ignoring emotions. It's not. It's because they have an understanding that this was always a risk. This was always on the table. Like, okay, now it's happening. And it doesn't mean that they're happy. It doesn't even mean that they that they don't feel any sadness about someone leaving. Maybe they really enjoyed working with that person. It's like, man, that's a bummer. You know, of course they're going to see if there's any if they really want that person to stay, they're going to see if there's anything they can do to get that person to stay.

But in the end, if the person is leaving, there is sort of a peace about things for the owner on the end of the spectrum who is seasoned and has some wisdom and has learned the hard lessons and probably at one point was on the end of the spectrum that was in the pits of despair when someone put in their notice, right? But now they've seen enough, they've done enough, and honestly, the people I'm thinking of, they just run their business really well from like a health perspective that it makes it easier to recover from these things.

And there's not really too many dire situations that they can get themselves in because of the way the business is humming and running. And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean it's a pain. It's a pain in the rear to have to deal with someone exiting, especially, you know, if it's an attorney and figuring out what the clients that they were handling are going to do and, you know, that's a pain. 

But also, it's par for the course. You own a business. And that is going to happen sometimes. We do what we can to reduce risk that people will leave because we provide really great environments and, you know, you put in systems, and you want to make sure the people's roles are, they're feeling fulfilled, and that you are plugging into them and finding out what interests them and what do they want to move towards, etc., etc., like you are staying connected to your people.

But even when you stay connected to your people, you're still going to have this happen sometimes. It's inevitable. It's a part of owning a business. And when you can realize that and make sure that you stay very clear about that, then it makes the future not feel so stressful because you know that this was always on the table. And you know that you have, because the business is running healthy, you know that you've got a little cushion. You're going to take your time to find this. Everybody may have to chip in a little bit more, including the owner for a bit, who knows depending on your, you know, the size of the firm and how involved you still are in casework, etc., etc.

But it's just like they've gotten themselves to the place where they take this in stride. It doesn't mean that they're happy, again. Like, I don't want to make this sound like there's just no emotion, but the emotion does not get in the way at all of next right action. 

Now, there are some of you who I really believe and I see this when I'm working with you, you are getting yourself to the place where the business is really healthy. Like, you have made changes and those changes that you've made in the firm is producing better profit margins, it's producing better accountability in a way that is healthy in the firm. It is producing happy team members. You are plugged into the team.

Like you're doing all the things to line yourself up to really have a healthy business that it's even easier to withstand someone leaving like that or any surprise, frankly. I mean, that's the whole idea is you set up a healthy business so that when a surprise hits, no matter what kind of surprise it is, the business can absorb it and bounce back from it much more quickly. 

Now, so some of you I'm working with, you are on that path. You are making decisions that are lining yourself up to be the kind of firm that can absorb a surprise, something that you weren't expecting. But you aren't quite there yet, but you are working on it.

And so it is a little harder to absorb, depending on where you are in terms of the work you're doing and getting things in line, improving your profit margins, and making sure that there is accountability instituted in the firm in a way that provides for the health of the firm, which means that because the firm is healthy, it could provide for your team members and for your clients, etc. So you're on that journey.

It is harder for your firm at this very moment if you were to receive notice or something unexpected, it might be harder to bounce back than it will be in the future. It may be tougher to absorb it for a short period of time, this surprise, and now in this episode, we're talking about that unexpected event being someone putting in their notice. It may be tougher to handle than it will be, but it's still always a risk for your business.

And so even if you are surprised by it, by someone putting in their notice, your reaction to that and how quickly you can get yourself to be thinking logistically and in a way that is going to line yourself up with the next thing that makes the most sense for your firm, the better off you are. 

And I decided to do this episode because I see many reactions when people put in their notice because it's part of the job, right? Like that's part of the deal of having a business is you're going to have people put in notice. And if you are lucky enough that you really haven't had to deal much with that, that's fantastic. But it will happen. That's just part of the deal. 

nd so if you can expect it, number one, that it's going to happen at some point, and trust that you have got what it takes to be able to handle it. It may mean that stress kicks up a bit in terms of there's maybe more to do in the short term, but use your team to help with those things. But there may be more to do to get yourself lined up with the next right team member and figure out what onboarding looks like, figure out what training looks like.

And the truth is, this is the other side of it. Someone who looks at this in a very healthy way recognizes it when someone puts in their notice, recognizes it for the opportunity that it is. When someone cycles out of your business, a team member, you have an opportunity now to bring in maybe even a better fit. Who knows, right? That's the goal is to find the greatest fit possible for your firm, for your culture, and a fit within your team and your workflows, your style, etc. your values. That's kind of what this comes down to, is your core values. 

Now, when you bring someone in to do that, there's an opportunity for fit. The second opportunity you have is to onboard them, maybe better than you ever have in the past, which sets that new person up for greater success earlier on. This is an opportunity. And remember, progress, not perfection. And that's another thing I think people get so heavy and feel so negatively about the work they need to do to line themselves up with this new person coming into the position.

But if they would just look at it as an opportunity to create a better outcome than what they had previously, and not because it was anything wrong with the person that was there that put in their notice, it's because you have an opportunity to put a different foot forward and to do so in a more organized way and to think through what does onboarding, what would it look like if you shifted it or if you thought about it differently than you would than you've thought about it previously. It's a new opportunity. 

And so when I was saying before, progress, not perfection, this isn't about making the perfect training plan, the perfect onboarding, the perfect hiring scenarios where you do test projects and you do assessments and you, like, there is no such thing as perfect. When you are trying to think of how to improve something, the opportunity is how do you change what you've done in the past enough that it feels like a marked improvement? It's not about perfection, it's about a marked improvement. And if you can do that, you will create a better scenario than you've ever had the opportunity to create before because now you're in a space where you are going to be hiring.

How do you want to do onboarding a little bit differently this time? How do you want to set expectations out of the gate this time that maybe you didn't do last time? All of these things set up for more success with the next person coming into the role. That is such an opportunity.

Your perspective when someone leaves your business is everything. And you could probably look at a situation in the past where someone has put in their notice and examine how you felt in those in that moment and examine what was your mindset like? Your mindset means a lot, guys.

I mean, I believe in mindset, just generally speaking, and being aware of what's running through your head matters because what's running through your head is the very thing that will produce how you're feeling in a certain situation. And based on how you're feeling, you will take specific actions in that situation. And then because of those actions, you will create a result. And so if you're thinking crappy, you're going to feel crappy. It means you're going to take crappy action or action that doesn't line up with what it was possible to. And then that means your result is going to be subpar as well. 

So if you check yourself and look at the quality of your thinking when someone puts in their notice, when someone leaves your business, what is the quality of your thinking?

And I'm not saying, again, I'm not saying that you shouldn't make room to grieve in some instances that person is leaving. Like, have your moment, man. Like really take some space. Go for a walk. Feel the whatever pain is associated for you with it. Maybe it's just fear and it's not necessarily about them walking away, that person. It's more about the fear of that role being open and the uncertainty of the future. Like maybe that's what's the painful part for you. So I'm not saying don't process your pain. But don't live in it. 

And make a point to process it if you need to, if it's there, you need to give it some attention. But sometimes you can do that for 20 minutes and be done. And it's enough to sort of move that emotion through so that then you can be, like you're not stuffing down emotions and deciding how to be logical with your next steps. It's like, no, no, no. You actually gave it space and you maybe journaled about it, or you let yourself cry if you need to cry, or you let yourself, like, let all the fear come up. If it's like whatever's there, process it, and then you can get to work.

Having an awareness, going back to the awareness, having an awareness of where you are and looking at the quality of what's running through your head. And the fastest way to do this is just to take stock of what is running through your head. And for me, the fastest way to do this is either, it used to be pen to paper. I couldn't even type in a document. It just wouldn't flow out well enough. I used to have to be like pen to paper.

Nowadays, honestly, I go for a walk and I'll turn on a voice memo and I'll just talk into it and process, process the fear, process my next steps, process, like I have a look at what's running through my head and in that processing where I and the whole point is to have a look at my mindset and make sure that my mindset is in as great of a place as I can get it for the next right steps. 

And so if that's the point, I say what's honest and sometimes it is dramatic, but I say it, and then getting that out, it's like, well, then, okay, but the truth is X. And so then you start to sort of work yourself up the chain to a higher quality thinking. That's what works for me. I don't know what works for you, but get yourself to a higher quality of thinking as quickly as you possibly can.

That's the whole game. Because the truth is, you have a business, yes, this can happen. Uh, okay, now there's some stuff to do. I wasn't expecting that. Holy cow. There's some things I need to look at. I need to evaluate myself, like, do I? Do I need to evaluate myself as a leader? Do I need to evaluate how I set expectations of people? Like, did something go wrong here that I could have actually had better influence on than what I was taking, right? Could I have done anything differently? Was there anything in my control? Could I have taken the reins differently that would have produced an outcome where this person would have stayed?

And also, is it better that they're leaving? Like, really, when you think about it, is it time for some new energy? Is it time for me to have a place to set expectations and it's fresh out of the gates? Is it time for me to present things in a way from a training and onboarding and with hiring, too, the whole bit about getting someone in here that, like, this is going to lead to a better result for my firm, period. Like, you have to sort of get yourself to a different mindset. 

And wherever you are on the spectrum, the job, the goal is to get yourself up a notch or two from the default space that you hold on that spectrum and not to be perfect, like this perfect business owner that it just doesn't really affect them at all. It's just something that they have to deal with, and they will, and they have a really good attitude about it because they know it's a fresh start, and they know what that means for their business.

Like, the possibilities are huge. The upside could be awesome. And they're going to do this with a lot of care and a lot of thought. And they're going to look at themselves in the mirror and they're going to evaluate if they should have done something differently. It's like just very not dramatic for that person up at that end of the spectrum. Wherever you are on it, you want to try to move up the spectrum, a notch or two towards that. 

You don't want to try to become that. If you're, you know, midway down the spectrum or further down the spectrum, you don't, your job is not to become that. Your job is to experience growth. And you experience growth through, like, one foot in front of the other and having awareness about where your opportunities are here for you to grow, for you to do things differently, and opportunities for the firm. And that's the job. And as quickly as you can get yourself there, the better off you are.

You know, I wanted to do this episode. I've had conversations with my team lately because it is interesting to witness people's reactions. And my team witnesses them as well. And it is easy to feed off of the energy of the client.

There is a client that recently really, really had a hard time with someone who put in their notice. They felt betrayed, they felt just like really were having a hard time at first. They felt stuck in terms of being able to move forward and being able to see clearly anything positive about their future. So my team and I are witnessing this. And our job is to meet them where they are and to bring them forward in ways that make the most sense for them.

But we had a conversation as a team that, in this instance, what would be very easy is for us to go in and just relate. And for us to go in and say things that are like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It's jumping in the pool with them, their pool of whatever they're wallowing in.

So we had a conversation about just about how important that is, you don't do that. You do not jump into the pool with them. They are where they are. We know what makes the most sense. It's easier for us to stay objective than it is for them. They're in the middle of the situation. And our job is to acknowledge how they feel and get them focused. 

And make sure that no one felt the need on my team and we all were in agreement, we were all handling it as we should, but make sure that no one on my team felt like they needed to relate heavily with the client. That is not my job. That is not the job of Velocity Work.

The job of Velocity Work with every single client that we work with is to help them move in the direction they need to move and to facilitate that. And sometimes that means you're coaching them, sometimes that means you are advising them, sometimes that means you're facilitating their thought process so that they can help get themselves on the right track. There's, you know, different tools in your tool belt.

But you do not just jump in and have them tell you a 30-minute story about it. You let them have their reaction, but we don't let ourselves, as a team, jump in and feed it in any way. We can listen; we have to listen, right? Because we have to know what they need in that moment. But we do not feed it in any way. 

And I'm so proud of my team and the conversations we've had around this because we are on the same page with it. And sometimes you don't know what to say and I help my team understand what is the right thing to say in moments like that, or when you feel like they are not getting themselves out of this pool of misery that they're in about it all.

There's a lot of drama for them mentally. Okay, well, you just let them have their experience. And there's times where I have told a client, you need to go process this. You need to sit down with pen and paper or go for a walk and get it out of your head. Like, articulate, articulate, articulate what you're feeling inside.

You know, no one needs to listen to it ever again. You can delete it if you want to. No one needs to read whatever you write down on a paper, but you need to process this. And when you process that, it's going to allow you to then be able to see opportunity as you move forward. And I see opportunity for you as you move forward, but I think you're in a space where you still need to process a bit more. So, let's do that, then come back and we'll talk again, and we'll talk about what my team can do to help and make it lighter, etc., etc.

But I've just been witnessing reactions from owners that are all along the spectrum. And it struck me that you all might be served by me talking about this because you may not even realize there's a spectrum. You may not even realize; you may not have even thought about this before. 

But the truth is, there is a spectrum. And if you can have an awareness about where you are and take stock of what is running through your head because if it's not high-quality thinking, if it's not solution-focused, if it doesn't feel like you're taking this in stride, you probably need to take a minute, process some things, and then ask yourself, what would it take to get there?

And, you know, that's the beauty of this. It is so nice when you have someone who can help you and can ask the right questions and can offer up the right insights that will make this easier and easier for you. In our client's case, we offer up support, right? Like we will help put together the job ad, we will help, like we will help make this for them to experience less friction on the path to whatever's next. 

But you don't, I keep saying progress, not perfection. I think people think they have to have the right questions to ask themselves or, you know, what is a high-quality question? I don't know a high-quality question to ask myself right now. I'll tell you one is: what would need to be true in order for me to figure out logically my next steps? That's a good question.

Another one could be: how can I get my headspace in a productive place for what should happen next? Another one: is there something that needs to be processed here, or do I feel like I can move forward confidently with what's next? Like, those are all good questions. And those are questions that cut through the noise of any drama and make your brain stop and think, instead of just like, your brain will serve you up a bunch of drama and you'll just be running with it and running with it and running with it. It's like your brain is using you instead of you using it. 

And maybe that's what this episode comes down to is in those moments when someone leaves your business, how do you react and how can you make sure that you use your brain, not your brain uses you, in those moments and allows for freak-out and feelings to take over because your head is running with all this fear, uncertainty, anger, whatever is there, right? So hopefully this helps. 

Next week, I'm going to do an episode that takes this a little further, which looks at sort of when odds are increased that people might leave. And we'll talk through that.

But just starting here, just understanding you have a business, businesses employ people, people are going to come and people are going to go. And it doesn't even mean that you did something wrong. It's just the nature of it. And people choosing what makes sense for them in their lives. And they have every right to do that.

So, the business, working to get the business to a place where it is healthy enough to be resilient in those moments, and working with yourself to get yourself resilient in those moments. Those are very important. And, you know, taking control where you do have control, how can you create resiliency and growth for yourself in those moments?

And how can you continue to take steps so that the business gets healthier and healthier and healthier and can absorb unexpected events that happen like that and bounce back more quickly.

But this really was about the emotion that can take over, this episode, and having you have a look at your past and how you've reacted and think about the future and whenever that does happen- and we don't want it to happen, but whenever it does happen- who do you want to be in those moments? How do you want to react in those moments? Not necessarily to the person that's giving you the news, but how do you want to react in terms of your next steps and making decisions about one foot in front of the other and seeing opportunity?

All right. All right, everybody. I hope you have a wonderful week. I'll see you here next Tuesday.

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