Lost at Sea: When Your Firm No Longer Needs You the Same Way

It's an identity shift. It's an identity crisis. When you have been a very intense, passionate, aggressive worker, which everybody wants in their corner, by the way, those are great traits that people want in their lawyer. And when you are that kind of person and you get space back, the identity shift is to calm the F down. That is important. And people don't do that well because it's so easy to just fill, it's like a default way of being is to just fill the space, fill the space, fill the space.

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I have a quick recommendation for you. So, our clients, Ben Gideon and Jeff Wright of Gideon Asen, they run a podcast called Elawvate: Build and Grow Your Law Firm. I’ve gotten to know these guys. I understand how they think, and they do not just talk theory. They get into the real stuff. They get into staffing, systems, what actually moves the needle on profitability. They have built a wildly successful, very healthy firm. So, this is a unique opportunity to hear from operators who are actually doing it. If you run a law firm, if you work in one, this one is worth your time. Search Elawvate, E-L-A-W-V-A-T-E, Build and Grow Your Law Firm, wherever you listen to podcasts. Enjoy.

Hey everyone, welcome back to this week's episode of The Law Firm Owner Podcast. I'm so glad you're tuning in. Last week, we talked about how tough it is to see the truth from when you're inside your own bubble, right? It's very difficult to be objective from that place. And I gave a couple of examples that were very different scenarios and set of circumstances, but it was true for both of them. The barriers that existed were because they were having trouble seeing the truth from where they were standing.

And we talked through what that looks like to get through that, what matters. How do you get to the truth for yourself when you are in a situation like that where you are standing inside of it and you know you've got blind spots, or you should know, you should know you have blind spots. And so then how do you line yourself up with the honest reckoning of what's going on, the truth of what's going on.

So, we talked about that just as in general as an issue. I tried to give a couple of examples, and I hope that each of you can spot or just have awareness of how this is probably playing out for you to some degree because, again, that awareness is everything. 

Now, I'm going to dig into both of those scenarios that I shared with you last week. I want to dig into both of those. I'm going to do one today on this episode and one next week on an episode because, gosh, there's so much learning and so much, I think sharing the experience of what it's like at certain points in the trajectory of owning your firm can really help you all not feel alone in what you may be experiencing. Also, anticipating that this may be coming, right? If you didn't know that this was coming, maybe now your eyes will be open and it won't be such a surprise.

I think one of the best things we can do as owners of any business is to anticipate the barriers, is to anticipate the friction that we're going to experience, because then you can be strategic about how you're going to approach those things when the time comes. Now, you don't need to give deep strategic thought to something that might happen three years from now. But when we're making plans with clients and we're looking at the year ahead and sometimes even shorter term, we will ask, what barriers do you anticipate encountering on this journey to achieving these milestones and the goals and the shifts in the organization that you're putting into place? What barriers do you anticipate?

That is one of the most important questions that we answer in planning because if you don't ask that question, your plan is very optimistic. It's short-sighted, and you need a bigger holistic view. Like if you were going to put money dealing with something down in this path that you're going to bump up against, then what is that thing? And let's talk about it and maybe what can we do now to prevent that or either eliminate the barrier or lighten the barrier itself so it's not such a whammy when you hit it. 

So, my goal with these next two episodes is just to provide you some insight into inevitable points on your journey, depending on where you are, so that you can have your own insights.

All right, so this one we're going to be talking about today, I think if I was going to title it something, it would be called “Lost at Sea.” And this is not about the firm, it's about the owner. The problem that we're going to be talking about today, or the challenge that we're going to be talking about today, it only happens when you've built something that works. When all the work you've put in is really paying off in a way where you have so much time back, that's when you will see this issue arise often, almost always, actually, and to varying degrees, but almost always. It happens when the firm you built stops needing you in the same way. 

And I can hear you all. I feel like I'm in your heads, and I can hear you thinking right now, "I welcome that. I would really like to get to that day where the firm needs me differently than it's currently needing me." But I will tell you, that does come with its own set of challenges, and that's what we'll talk about today. 

Now, this firm, they are incredible clients. Just the team I get to work with within this firm. So they are an incredible client. The firm is running better than it ever has. They are wildly successful, and that did not fall in their lap. They've absolutely created their own success and been working really hard at it for many years to do that. Every KPI they have is being beat. They have a team that's running really well. Their leadership is really developing and moving things and shifting things in the right way.

Now, on the other side, which is worth mentioning, obviously this would be true, but I don't want to just paint some rosy picture only. There's a lot of pressure in the mix here. They have new attorneys, they've had some staffing changes. The nature of their cases is there's periods of really intense involvement, and then, well, it's all intense involvement, I guess, but there's periods where there's a lot more hours needed to be spent on cases, and then it sort of lifts and then there'll be a period where a lot more hours are needed again. So they have these cycles, and the more that they grow, the less space there is between those cycles, between that need. 

So there's a lot. Nothing in this firm is on fire. There's just natural work stress, but it's pretty good work stress. It's the kind of work stress that just means you have the cases you want, you're working those, you have a great team that's contributing. Like everything is going well, but it is a lot. But nothing was on fire. This is what I was getting to a minute ago. Nothing was on fire, but the owner was drifting. And by drifting, I mean taking space from the firm.

And in that space, which was needed after an intense period of work, so it felt really natural that there was some space that could be taken. In that space, it was, yes, rejuvenating to some extent, but there was a hollowness for the owner that they were experiencing with the space that they were taking.

Now, when I say taking space, yes, there was a vacation, one- to two-week vacation. I don't even remember how long it was. But space meaning remote in really spending time in beautiful areas and in nature, and that was rejuvenating in and of itself, and showing up on calls that they're supposed to be on, right? And meetings that they're supposed to be on, but very clear to everyone else that there is something going on with the owner.

They did feel different to the team than they had felt previously to the team. The vibe of the owner was pretty relaxed in a way that wasn't normal in terms of work conversation. And what surfaced when I had the opportunity to talk to them, what surfaced was that everything is running without them just fine. Now, given they are in this cycle between really intense periods where really difficult, complex cases they have to be a part of. They have to be brought in. But they weren't in that cycle.

And it was the first time, between hard, complex cases and the intensity that's required for those, it was the first time in this space that they had really stepped back, that they weren't going into the office every day, that they weren't having their regular meetings, that they weren't a little more engaged and in it the same way that they'd always been. So this was new that there had been a step back and a little bit of a relaxed demeanor about all of it. A disengaged, I think, might be the right word, but showing up, but present, but disengaged. And I would venture to say a bit of cynicism and certainly underneath it all, when you have a real conversation with them, lost at sea.

And that was surprising to them, and they were open for answers about how to think about this phase, about how to think about where things are now, about how to think about how to manage their time. They were pulled out of the norm that they had been in, the cycle that they had been in, in, working every day in for probably more than 25 years. So now that you have an amazing team that is running on all cylinders, doing a great job, they do not have the level of experience that we're talking about here with this owner. But that's not always needed in every moment. 

And so outside of those really intense, complex periods where the owner is needed to be in the middle of it just to guide, they're doing just fine without the owner. The team is knocking it out of the park without the owner. And that is disorienting. And that's why I say lost at sea. Because when you get used to running fast and being super agile with your work and masterful at your work, and so many of you listening to this are that. When you are that, you know how to structure your days. You know how to conduct yourself. You know where to go first, next, next, next. The priorities are clear. You are dialed, you are focused, you have a team that supports you. There's a rhythm and a cadence that's very familiar to you. 

Now, take that away where that's, you aren't needed in those situations, the day-to-day situations anymore. You aren't needed for to be in the work the way that you used to be in the work. What would you do with your day? I want you to just stop and think about that. I don't care if you do estate planning or family law or PI. I don't care what you do. Think about that for a second because that happens to, I've had it happen in every single practice area I've worked with. At some point we get here where the rhythm changes because they've done such a good job building this firm that they have been planning to build and have been so intentional about putting the puzzle pieces together in a way that creates true success.

And so now they are getting to experience one aspect of that success, which is that they don't have to be in the grind of all the things anymore. Now, if you take that away from your world, what are you left with? If you are asked only to come in on the complex things, like the really heavy-hitting, intense things, or complex things, that it's not a day-to-day in-and-out kind of need for the firm. So, what do you do when you take away the in-the-grind, in-the-details work? What's your day look like? What are you supposed to focus on?

Now, we all may be able to sit here and think of—you on your own, without me prompting you, could probably think of some things that you think you should focus on. But it is not your norm because you haven't been focusing on those other things.

So, for example, when I talk to owners in this situation, and we'll talk about, you know, they'll say, "What do I do now with the time that I have? What am I supposed to do in my day?" And I'll say, "Okay, what do you think would be a good use of your time?" Now, I have answers for them that may be right, but I need them to think.

So, they'll surface things like, "Well, I would focus more on business development and marketing. I could focus more on culture and actually give some attention there, not just an afterthought that I really try to keep up with. I could focus more on mentorship specifically." So they'll have these things that they'll come up with, be focused on running this firm, driving this firm forward, like strategic planning and making sure that the business is being driven forward in a way that's the best case for the business itself. And that takes a lot of focus, right?  

So they think of these categories of things, but even when they can think of categories of things, it doesn't mean that they know what to do with their time. So, for instance, if they focused more on marketing, what do they do? Do they have more meetings with their marketing partner because they're going to start to dig in differently? Do they put some accountability measures in place with the person that's a little more front lines with the marketing stuff because they want to get involved because they know they could add value to that department, so to speak? So, okay, maybe they could do that. Do they start going to a lot more networking events? Do they try to start getting on more speaker circuits or panels? You know, what do they do with their time? 

And then if you think about culture, it's like they know that they technically should focus on culture, or at least pull somebody in and be a part of, maybe they're not the one executing everything, but they are part of the planning and the conversation about how they're going to keep the culture alive and the values alive in a better way than they ever have before.

Or they are going to mentor or they could put together a program to mentor their attorneys, or they could spend three full days every week just focusing on being the owner of the business, meaning looking at metrics, digging into the financials, really understanding their firm top to bottom. Again, it doesn't mean you have to do all the things. It starts and stops with them, right? So they could start to understand better and better some situations. 

But I will tell you, all the things I'm just saying, I feel like I'm just rattling off a bunch of things, which they're all true, and that's certainly not an exhaustive list. But when you get space back, and you are not required—not only is it not required, you are not needed in the day-to-day work. What do you do with your time? Can you see how easy it is to feel lost at sea? There are so many things you could be doing, so many areas you could be focusing on, but there's no road map for exactly what to do once you get time back.

And people look to me often to give them a road map on what to focus on. Now, what that looks like is when we, because we've been in strategic planning with these clients, that's why they've gotten where they've gotten because they've been making very intentional plans and been executing on the plans. So we are in a rhythm here. And when this comes up, I always know that if it comes up during the retreat, great. If it comes up on a call, then I know at the next retreat, we're going to have to get them really clear on this so they do not feel as lost at sea. And the priority becomes identifying very concrete, specific things that they need to do over the next 90 days. 

And how we know that they need to do it is because we have all the data on their firm. We have a read from a culture perspective. We understand the dynamics in terms of the people in the firm. We know where they're going. We've painted that vision, right? Together, I've worked with them on making sure that this vision is something they actually want to work towards. It becomes the north star. We have all of that information. So, when someone asks, "What do I do with my time?" You look at the need. You look at the lever that needs to be pulled that they have not had the space to pull prior to now. And that is what, basically, they create an assignment for themselves over the next 90 days. 

Here's the second thing I want to say. When and if we get to that point where we have to create clarity, and I talked about how to create clarity in the last episode. That's some insight into how I work it in a room. It's obviously not extensive. I'm trying to give one example, last week on the episode, but there are questions you can ask to create clarity so that people feel like they then can take action. Now, oftentimes, action is the thing that brings clarity, but you need enough clarity to decide what you were working on, what you are moving forward with, what you are driving. 

Now, here's the thing I want to say. It is very, very, very important that when you feel like you're in that place, you do not fill your time. You don't just fill your, let's say, you have a new, like, 20 to 25 hours a week that it's a little unguided. You're in new territory here. You do not fill all 20 to 25 hours with things that you're supposed to do now that you have the space back because part of being a very good owner, part of leading in the best way, is making sure that you have space. You have space to think, to analyze, to observe. And if you fill your space with a bunch of busyness, even if it's different kinds of busyness, you are losing the plot here. You are building this business and raising this to be as healthy as possible. And when you start to get time back, filling it, all the space, is not a great idea. 

Now, that is very, very difficult for many of my clients because they have been going, going, going maxed out. As you all know, lawyers have a ceiling that is higher than other people's ceilings in terms of, like, their capacity, their ability to just grind it out more than I've seen in with other professionals I've worked with in this realm. Lawyers are different. Now, I don't even think that's necessarily healthy. I just think that's true.

So they have a capacity and a norm for really grinding things out, and then they get themselves to this place where they have a bunch of space, and they are very uncomfortable just having a normal workload. They're very uncomfortable not being buried and really just climbing their way out of it through a bunch of action and a bunch of doing. 

So, it's an identity shift. It's an identity crisis. When you have been a very intense, passionate, aggressive worker, which everybody wants in their corner, by the way; those are great traits that people want in their lawyer. And when you are that kind of a person and you get space back, the identity shift is to calm the F down. That is important, and people don't do that well because it's so easy to just fill. It's like a default way of being is to just fill the space, fill the space, fill the space.

Sometimes they'll get involved in things, they'll go back and get involved in things they absolutely should not be getting involved in because it fills the space. It makes them feel useful. It's a comfort. Quite frankly, it's indulgent. But that's what people do. That's what we do. That's humans. That's what humans do. That's what our brain does. 

So, leaving some space to adjust to a new normal is extremely important because if you do not do that, you will never be able to handle, you will never be able to experience fully the success that you have created with building this firm. You're just going to keep running, which is exhausting. It is what you know and it is comfortable, but it is exhausting. And when you stop running, it is very disorienting. That's the best way I know how to say that. So when you compensate so that you don't feel disoriented, you fill things with the space. It's this is your opportunity to learn to become the kind of person that can take this firm to its next level and be the kind of person that you really want to be, right? 

People who run hard and are not, they're like, fill their space with productivity all the time. They have to feel like they're productive all the time. And their definition of productive is associated with doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, which is a very one-sided definition of productivity. When you are that kind of a person, there's a ripple effect from you. You leave things in your wake. Now, that could be family or loved ones. That could be things that you really care about in life, get just left in the dust when you operate that way.

I think there's a time in most people's life, there's a chapter in most people's life, that's the way, right? That's the decision that they made. They are going to go at it and go at it hard. But when you have the gift of space back, having enough awareness to stop and say, "Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." This is my opportunity to either continue, like my MO just keeps being my MO, or I can intentionally shift how I show up and how I operate. I can be the kind of person that requires space so that I am more intentional with these bigger, higher-level responsibilities than I've ever been before. 

And when you, so for example, I said if you get 25 to 30 hours a week back or 20 to 25 hours a week back, for whatever reason, you find yourself there because you have an amazing team and things are going really well. Yes, you can choose some things that you need to focus on and getting clear about, and deciding, constraining down to just one thing that you're going to focus on with this newfound time that fits who you are, what role you're really able to step into now in a greater way than you've ever been able to before. And then the space that's left around that needs to be left around that. Do not fill it.

I have told clients before, if you seriously feel like you've gotten everything done that you wanted to get done with the, sure, the day-to-day things that you are required to do, but also the priority that you've named for yourself that's out of the grind. It's higher level. It's very owner-esque kind of priority that you are making headway on, and you feel done for the day. Get up and go get a coffee. Take the space and really soak up what it feels like to be able to just leave and, without rushing, go get a treat in the middle of the day. 

Go for a walk outside and call someone you've been meaning to call. Go do something that really does rejuvenate you and make you feel really good holistically about what you are touching, all the things that you're touching at this stage in your life. Really get outside your comfort zone. It sounds totally crazy to say this, but do things that you would never in a million years do during the day when you have space.

So when you have space, take the space. Don't fill the space with work. So take the space as an opportunity to allow your nervous system to thaw out because it's been probably jacked for the last stretch of time as you have been grinding, as you have been overly busy, and filling all your space with as many things as you possibly can because it's needed and it's required and you have to work a ton. 

When you're out of that, take the space. Do not fill the space with work. So maybe that means that you go sit in a chair in your office and you journal about how uncomfortable and how weird this is that you have space. How weird it is that you're sitting in your office and you know you have a whole team that are working so hard and doing such a great job behind you, and you're sitting here not doing that for a minute. That's so uncomfortable. Take the space. 

So I don't care if it's to go get a coffee or a treat in the middle of the day or in the middle of the afternoon. I don't care if it's calling a loved one that you had been meaning to call for so long and taking your time with that conversation. I don't care if it's sitting down to brainstorm something that you could do that's really cool for a loved one of yours that you just don't give enough attention to, and so you're going to actually give some intentional thought to it. I don't care if it's going for a run at 2 o'clock in the afternoon when that normally would never happen. It would only be first thing in the morning or maybe in the evening. Do it at weird times. Take the space. 

So when you can make sure that when you get space back because of the success you have created, do not sabotage what is happening. Your brain will want to. Full stop. I don't meet anybody. I think that's why it feels important to this podcast. I do not meet a single firm, a single owner, where when they get this space back, it just feels so natural that they're so happy, everything is balanced, they feel really good about how they're structuring the days. No, it's like a whole new learning curve for them every time. Now, not everybody is, some are more lost at sea than others when that happens.

And usually that is it's dependent upon how intense they are and how intensely they've worked, like worked, worked, worked, worked, worked, worked for so many years with such intensity that when they get the space back, those are the ones that are more lost at sea because there's so much more dissonance for them than there is for someone who, yes, worked a lot. But there is a spectrum here of intensity that I think we all know exists, and it really depends on where you are in that spectrum. It's also hard to know exactly where you are. It's like, you just know what's normal for you, but there is a spectrum.  

But going back to, no one gets space back and just saunters into the space knowing exactly how to structure their days. They know exactly what to focus on. They feel really good about it all. It is uncomfortable every single time. There is not an exception to that rule.

So far, with everyone I've worked with, there is not an exception to that rule. When they get to that place, the discomfort is real, and it is disorienting. It is an identity shift. And I think coaching them through that- I often talk about- there is advising, there's consulting, and there's coaching. Those are three different things. Advising and consulting is somewhat similar, but they are to me, there's three different definitions. Coaching is required for this identity shift. 

Coaching is a lot about asking high-quality questions to the individual so that they can really start to see things through their own answers. And the clarity comes from within instead of me telling them what they should do. That's never going to work. That's it's never going to be as successful as if it were coming from them.

So when I'm asking them questions, that's coaching, and that's what's required in these moments where there needs to be an identity shift and letting people know that this is normal. Like, "Hey, I've seen this time and time and time and time again. This is not new territory to me. Let me tell you where you are."

There's an identity shift here, and you have an opportunity to step into this for the highest good of all, for those around you that you care about, for yourself, for your body physically, for all aspects of you as the human and not just the attorney and the owner of this business. There is a real opportunity here for you, and you created this opportunity. 

So now here you are. You're at the threshold of really living into that differently, and it is going to require that you show up differently, that you operate differently. So there are some things we need to help clarify for you. And through that clarity, we will decide a real outcome, a real result that you're going to produce over the next 90 days. And the second thing we're going to do is to make sure that you take more space than feels necessary because you have to adjust to the space. 

And so it's almost like a pendulum swinging from one side where everything is so busy and more in the weeds to the other side, which is taking a ton of space and there isn't your time is not filled with busy work, busyness. It's not filled just to fill it with work. And taking more of that than you have to in the future because you need to be able to come back to center, which is there is space involved in your day and in your weeks and in your months and in your quarters and in your years.

There is space that's really important, but you're not going to go from this overworked aspect of things to just this perfect balance right away. It really does take a big swing, like a pendulum swing to the other side where you force yourself to take space in such an uncomfortable way so that, like I said earlier, this has a lot to do with your preserving you so that you can be working in the ways that make the most sense moving forward at your highest capacity, at your highest potential. 

And the way to do that is to let your, I said this earlier, but it's to let your nervous system thaw out, to push a reset button on what productivity actually is, and to experience the space and to notice what comes of the space. By the way, you'll have all kinds of amazing ideas. That's what space gives you. Space gives you creativity, curiosity, ideas. That's where ideas are born from is in the space. So that's you will notice that as you go along.

But really, it's making that swing to have discipline to take more space than you feel like is necessary and to not feel guilty about it. That in and of itself is a job because you will start to feel like you are not doing enough, that this is lazy, that it's unfair to your team. You'll have all of these stories about taking space, which is so crazy. It's a short amount of time to commit to adjusting to something different. That's what that is. And when you take that short amount of time to really adjust and really take space and have a different speed in the way that you move, doesn't still mean you can't move fast, it just means you are not running with intensity. 

That is not what a good leader is. That is not what a good leader does. That is not how they conduct themselves. That is not their MO. Their MO is calm, measured, confident, with a lot of space for them to think about the things that need to be thought about. And when you give yourself that and settle into that, a plethora of it, it starts to, you'll feel more ready after, you know, two, three months of that. You'll feel more ready to then maybe pick it back up a little bit and do fill it with more meaningful work that matches what you should be focusing on then, but still having space. So it may be less space, but that's what I mean. The pendulum swings one way and then it comes back to the center. So I think you guys get what I'm saying. 

It's just so important. And when you feel lost at sea, truly, there is nothing fun about it. Nothing. It's such a mental conundrum because you're finding yourself in this liminal space where you feel fortunate and glad and grateful that you have the space, but you also don't know what to do with it. So you feel useless. And that is not a feeling that any of my clients have ever felt before. Useless is not one of those things.

So now they feel useless, they feel undirected, and the discomfort that comes with that is extremely intense. But you feel like you shouldn't be this uncomfortable because you did create the success, but you also feel like you should be doing other things. What should you be doing now with this time? It's like the chatter in your brain constantly. And everything is ramped and there is nothing going on around you. There is you're not sure what to do to be productive. And so this is why this is what happens in the pattern. 

People will get their hands back into things they shouldn't be getting them back into. They aren't as intentional with what to do with the space. They don't leave any space for themselves, no matter what they work on. I mean, the impact from this mental conundrum and the dissonance is extreme because, you know, you guys have heard me talk about this podcast before, constrain down to one to three or depending on the team size, right?

But for you as an individual, constrain down to one freaking priority and just do that. Move forward. Do that. Be committed to that. See it all the way to the end. Like whatever project you've been wanting to do, whatever system you've wanted to revamp, whatever, whatever the training that you wanted to provide that no one, like you've just haven't had the space to provide. Whatever it is that you decide to work on, pick one thing. Well, when your brain is doing the… It's like all this noise in your brain about, like, I have a bunch of space. I don't know what to do with the space. I shouldn't take the space. I'm useless right now. 

Like there's all these thoughts that are swimming through your mind. Do you think from that state you're going to be intentional and just pick one thing? No. You're going to go a bunch of different things. It's like this chaotic energy that's in your head, you are going to live out. And when you live out that chaotic energy with the space that you now have been given, you create more problems than you solve for in your business. You create more problems for the health of the business, you create more problems for your team members, you create sometimes more problems for clients, you create more issues because you are not being intentional with the space. 

So when you feel lost at sea, and I'm going to go back to this client that I was mentioning, they did such a beautiful job of trying to just be observant of what's going on and articulating what they are observing and articulating the discomfort and articulating the anxiety and not taking action. I was so proud of this owner. It's probably the most intense version of this that I've seen within our client base, and they did such a beautiful job of continuing to take the space, but hating it, honestly. They really didn't like the like, yeah, yeah, they liked being at a cottage and on the coast, and they liked being able to take space with their family. They liked all that. 

But there's still this really disorienting space that they're in, they don't like it at all. And they're trying to just sit still. I think there's self-awareness that just making a move for the sake of making a move wasn't the right call, and they just did such a beautiful job of articulating how tough this spot is and how lost they feel and how they need guidance. It was like, I need help figuring this out. And this is one of the smartest people I know.

And he was saying out loud, "I'd love for someone to help me figure this out. I don't know what's happening here. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to focus on. I have a lot of anxiety and doubt about the future of this firm, like if I don't get back involved heavily."

And like just all these worries were coming up and anxieties as well as the sense of uselessness, as well as a sense of understanding that they probably should be focusing on some different things right now, but they don't know what that is. They presented in such a beautiful way. I'm sure it did not feel like that to them, but it really was. 

And I know how tough that spot is to be in it. I have walked many people through it. And it felt important to really show up for that person in the best way I know how, which at their at their retreat- that's when I talked about last week- my job was to get them clear on what does this next phase look like? Like, what is success in this next phase? And they did such an awesome job of nailing it. The owner was able to articulate some things, the team was able to articulate some things that the owner agreed with. It was like they found this new way of moving forward that made sense for everyone and provided space. 

All right. So as we wind down this episode, I think a few things to think through if you are noticing for yourself that you're in a space like this. And it doesn't, again, there's varying degrees of this, and there's going to be different seasons. This isn't a one-time event. It's not going to be one identity shift and then, "Man, now I'm through it." No, there's going to be more. There's layers to these things. And as your firm continues to develop and grow, there's going to be the next shedding of responsibilities that you've had previously and focusing on new ones that are really you're meant for. And there's going to be levels to that. 

So when you're sitting here thinking, "Well, I'm not where that owner is. I don't just have a team that's running things. I'm still in the middle of some things." Okay. But I do think I'm going to give you a set of questions, and maybe you're on a really earlier layer of this. Maybe, maybe.

So I don't know where you are, but if you identify with this at all, I hope that this episode can help. I'm going to give a few bullets about how do you know if you're in it, no matter what level you're at. But I also want to say, for those of you who are here, I hope you can hear me. This is totally normal, and you're going to have to have some discipline to calm the F down. You're going to have to have some discipline to leave some space.

Now, if you are not in it right now, but you're hearing me, you're listening, and you're saying, "Okay, that's good to know. I will be there." If that's a part of the journey, that's a part of the journey. And so what I want to say to you is let this really wake you up to expecting it so that when it shows up, it doesn't flatten you.

That's the thing that I think when people are shocked by that experience that they're having, it almost makes it worse. It almost feels like you were blindsided. It almost kind of throws you into a darker place. And but if you know it's likely to come, then as it starts to creep up on you, and as it starts to rear its head, you know, "Oh yeah. Oh yeah, we're here."

And I want you to be able to celebrate the fact that you're there because not everybody gets there, because not everybody did the work that you have done to really pull this firm together in a way that allows for you to be experiencing this. It really is a gift even though it totally sucks to go through it. 

All right. So how do you know you're in it? You cannot name what you contributed in any given quarter. You are disengaging from the firm more and more, physically or mentally. This one is big. You knew how to structure a day around matters or cases or client files, and you can't tell now if you're doing a good job managing your time because you just don't have as much of that anymore. So you feel a little lost in your day and how to structure it and what to focus on, etcetera.

You feel confident about the business and anxious every day, all at once, both at once. That's the dissonance, right? You'll start to feel this dissonance in your brain that exists in a with a different intensity than it had previously. You start avoiding meetings that you used to run, or you used to be an integral part of.

And the last one I came up with is that you sit down to do your work and there's nothing pressing or urgent on you. And you look around, "What am I supposed to do? What do I focus on first?" So I think once when you stop feeling urgency and pressure from client matters, you're going to start to feel some of this dissonance, some of this disorienting experience of your work and of your day.

I had this mental picture of my mind with some of those clients that get there, they sit down, and it's like, "Okay, what do I work on? What should I do?" It's almost like they're not twiddling their thumbs, but sort of. It's like, okay, they know that there's things they can do, but nothing is driving them because of a client priority. That's not what's doing it. So what do you choose then? It's almost like it was chosen for you prior to this.

Now, we have talked about Monday Map Friday Wrap, and you can be a little more intentional with that, but generally, people who run fast and run hard, they're being pushed by whatever is pushing from the outside. So if there is an immediate need popping up, if there is anything that you have to respond to through your work for a client matter, that, no, it can't wait until next week. It is this week. So that's what's driving you and your action. When that falls away, and you sit down at your desk to work, how do you decide what you're going to work on first?

Like when you start to feel that, when you feel the space in the day to decide, what should I do next? Then you know that you're entering into a different phase of work, and you should expect that there's going to be some discomfort with that, and you should work really hard to not just react and get busy. You should sit back, you should be quiet, you should ask yourself if you're clear. Where are you unclear? Ask yourself good, high-quality questions. Use AI to help yourself ask really good, high-quality questions. 

All right, you guys, I've talked a long time on this. It's something that means a lot to me to be able to help people through some of these spaces. It's important work that you do for yourself. And if I can be a meaningful part of that shift that's required for certainly my clients, but to anyone who's listening here, then great, because it can be very lonely, it can be very isolating, as I mentioned earlier, certainly disorienting, and it's so tempting to rely on default ways of operating in those spaces, and you have got to the pendulum's got to swing the other way.

If you want to find balance with your new normal as you move forward, you don't just slip into a new normal. You really have to go to some extremes with the space that you're giving yourself to identify and settle in and let your nervous system thaw out and all those things. And then you'll find your center where you are productive more, like you're doing things, your people's typical definition of productivity, you're you're doing things more that are aligned with really where you want to be and where you want to go and the things that you should be focusing on, etcetera.

One of my friends calls it the awkward in-between. And I love that because it is awkward. It's trying to figure it out, and you feel like a newbie; you feel useless, but that will subside.

All right, everybody. I hope you have a wonderful week. I'll see you here next Tuesday with another really good client example that I think a lot of you will identify with, and we'll get into the nuts and bolts of that. Have a great week, everyone. Bye-bye.

Hey, want to watch the video of this episode? Head over to Velocity Work’s YouTube channel. You’ll find the link in the show notes.

And we give away some pretty great free resources that help law firm owners who aren’t clients learn some of the core principles that we use in our framework. An example is a Producer Calculator, which lets you put in your producer salary and production numbers to give you a sense for how healthy your firm is and how your team is performing. Head over to velocitywork.com to try it out.

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Thank you for listening to The Law Firm Owner Podcast. If you're ready to get clearer on your vision, data, and mindset, then head over to VelocityWork.com where you can plug in to quarterly Strategic Planning, with accountability and coaching in between. This is the work that creates Velocity.