Transform Team Resistance into Valuable Business Data

I’m Melissa Shanahan, and this is The Law Firm Owner Podcast Episode #312. 

Welcome to The Law Firm Owner Podcast, powered by Velocity Work, for owners who want to grow a firm that gives them the life they want. Get crystal clear on where you're going, take planning seriously, and honor your plan like a pro. This is the work that creates Velocity.

Hi everyone. Welcome to this week's episode. I'm so glad you're here. We have some exciting things going on. I wanted to make sure to mention, we, Velocity Work, have a booth and we'll be at AILA, the Annual Conference, which is the American Immigration Law Association. And we're so excited. We're getting all prepped for that. So, focus has been big there today, top of mind, and I thought I would just share for any of you listeners out there who will be at that conference, please stop by our booth. Our booth number is 202. I don't know where those booth numbers will be listed, but that is the booth we will be at, and we would love to see you. We'll have some fun giveaways, and we're fun people. So, come say hi.

Okay, so for today's topic on the podcast, this came up recently on a call with some members I get to work really closely with. They're in Syndicate, which is really only a program you can join if you've been involved with Velocity Work at some point or another. And that's really just to make sure this is a really tight-knit group of members, and it matters that the people in it are accountable. They do the things they say they're going to do. They track their numbers, they take ownership really seriously, and their firms are not quite large enough where they are ready to invest in private consulting with us.

But they've done a really great job with the basics and the fundamentals, and so they prefer a group setting, a tighter, closer-knit group of people. And so the nature of that group, because it's tighter and there's more time I spend with them, which is great, than with Mastery Group. And we dug into a topic that I know that many people deal with this, and so I thought I would share what came out of the conversation.

So let me set the stage a little bit. This call was with the law firm owners that are a part of this group and their right hand, their number ones, as we call them in the group. So, this team, and especially the number one, had put a lot of thought into rolling out an incentive program for this summer for the team. I mean, he really did the math, he worked it out. He thought it was a great opportunity for people to develop themselves, and, I mean, to him, this sounded like such a great deal.

But unfortunately, it wasn't received very well by the team, or at least certain members of the team. He said, when I rolled this out, there were a few team members that it looked like I punched them in the gut. So, we were having a conversation about that and he took this personally. To him it was like, what is wrong with you? I'm laying out this incentive plan. This is an opportunity for everybody here to earn more money and it betters the firm. And to him, he doesn't see any downside. And so we were having a conversation about that. And so I said, "Okay, here's some things to think through." And what I shared with him, I'm going to share here because I think this is super common.

We've probably all been there, right? But objectively, from the outside, looking in on your situation, it's much easier for me to see and spot certain things that you have an opportunity to shift so that you can get a different result or make the most out of this scenario where team members aren't pumped about what you rolled out.

So, the first thing I want to offer is that we have to remember when we take something personally, it is a defensive stance. Almost like, "What? What? Why? You should think this is great because I put all this time into it. Like, what is wrong with you?" And so it's a defensive stance, and this happens sort of unconsciously that we take this stance. But when we do find that we're taking things personally, it can make sense, right? You've worked so hard on doing something, and people, for some reason, don't see the value in the hard work that you've put in. That can be tough.

But here's what I want you to take away from this. When you find yourself taking it a little personally or getting a little defensive or with something you've rolled out, you have to be willing to change your view. You have to be willing to change your stance. Now, it's okay that maybe your reaction, you kind of sit with the feelings that come up with that initially. And by the way, I'm not saying what this member did. I love working with these members, and I don't have an image in my head of him walking around pouting. But that's what we do to ourselves, right? When someone isn't picking up what we're laying down, it feels frustrating.

So, we tense up, we either get frustrated, we get upset, maybe more sad than frustrated. It's not good feeling states. This isn't a positive thing. And the feeling state that you have is pointing to that something is wrong, that this should have gone differently, this should have gone better. And it's okay to have that be your experience in the immediate minutes or hours after you feel this initial disappointment. But then once you really let that process, we have an opportunity to shift our perspective about all of it.

And what I want to offer is that when we take it personally, it means that you are, instead of treating this like a learning journey, like you are growing and developing to figure out what is most effective, what is the best way to communicate with people, maybe there needed to be holes poked in your plan. Who knows? But this is all learning and growing, and we are all just doing the best that we can do.

So, when someone takes something personally, instead of taking a defensive stance, that just means that you are protecting the work that you've done. You're upset that people can't see what you're seeing. And really, it's not about that. It's not about you. It's about what's best for the firm and getting the result that's best for the firm.

So, if you, when you rolled out whatever you're rolling out to the team or you made an announcement for whatever it is that you're making an announcement for, and you think you're going to get one result, but it actually creates a different result than you thought, that is data. That is information.

Instead of taking things personally, we have an opportunity to say, "Okay, what is going on here?" Because I thought what I was going to do was going to get this result. It didn't. Why is that? Just that perspective shift alone can change everything because the actions that you take from a curious place are very different than the actions you will take from a defensive place.

And so what will follow if you choose to have curiosity about it and you choose to view that your situation is learning and growing, and developing yourself, and hopefully team members too, this is just an opportunity to do that. You were wrong, right? Like you may have been. I don't know. It depends on your circumstances.

But in many cases, we are wrong, and we thought we were going to be right. And that doesn't feel good. But that's par for the course. That's a part of learning and growing and developing ourselves in the roles that we each have, whether you're the owner, because you have to develop yourself better and better there, as all listeners know, and/or whatever role you have in the firm. This is about learning what's effective and what's not. This is about learning what's connective with your team and what's not. This is about learning what hits and what doesn't.

And so this is just an opportunity. So when you see a reaction that feels negative to the hard work you've done, you want to train yourself to immediately be curious, not pissed. If you are curious, and you look at this as the opportunity to understand more deeply. So there's feedback that's happening in front of you. You're not getting the response or the result that you thought you would. Huh, okay. So now, why is that? Now, you may have assumptions on why that is.

Even in this conversation today, I was mostly talking with the number one, but the owner did speak up and say, "If I had a hunch on why they didn't love it, it would be this." And that's great because your assumptions may or may not be right, but it's a lead. And so that gives you the opportunity to sit down with someone and ask, "When I laid this out and we were putting this together, we worked really hard on this, thinking it was such a good opportunity that people would be excited about. Clearly, by your reaction, I was wrong. Can you say more about that? Can you tell me where I'm wrong?"

And just hear their feedback. It doesn't mean you have to institute whatever it is, the feedback that they're giving you. You don't have to run with it, but you need information. You need data. And your curiosity, if you take that stance, will lead you on a path to figuring out what you need to know so that you can tweak how maybe you put together what you put together or how you delivered it. But really the job for any of us, when we are laying something out for people, our job is to sell that and get buy-in. Because if you don't have buy-in, it makes it tough for this thing to have legs. And that's what this person I was talking to about all this, that is what they were frustrated about because they thought this would have legs and get them certain results, and it didn't.

So, being curious, don't get defensive. Even you may feel defensive in the moments afterwards, and that's normal, that's natural, but you have to learn how to redirect your brain to get curious. You should not sit down with these people with curiosity if it is sort of laden with an attitude coming from you because you think they should have acted differently. If you can't sit down, clean, emotionally, and from your energetic state, if you're not clean when you sit down with them, you should not sit down with them. And by clean, I mean, you're not angry at them, like nothing is sort of oozing out of you, even though your words may be the right words, but there's just a vibe.

They will pick up on that, and that's not going to lead to what you want. So you need to wait. You need to wait till you process some of the letdown that you're experiencing before you sit down. But your job is to redirect yourself to get to the place that you're curious enough that you can sit down and ask questions and have a conversation with them because you were wrong. That's what this comes down to.

We want to think we were right. And technically, on paper, your plan may have been a thumbs-up plan. But it doesn't matter on paper, it matters in practice. So, learning and being willing to be wrong so that you can make adjustments for the future is really important. And it doesn't even necessarily mean you have to make adjustments to what you rolled out this time. Maybe you stick to it, but you take notes throughout as you get feedback. You take notes that next time you think through things a little bit differently than what you did the first time.

This happens all the time with business ownership and having a team. And sometimes even with the way that you're presenting certain things to your clients, and you don't, you thought there'd be buy-in, but there's not. This is a very normal thing.

And at the consulting firm I used to work for, it was really drilled into our heads that after we would lead a strategic planning retreat, and then there is a roll-out that happens for that client's team. So they talk through, "Okay, are we going to have a meeting after this meeting with our team and explain to them these are the priorities this quarter. This is what we're shooting for this year, and really get their buy-in so that they can help row in the direction that you guys have set in strategic planning needs to happen."

But people would really get into their presentations, and really cool stuff I've seen people do to roll out to their team. PowerPoints and history, and pictures, and there's some emotion put into this presentation. And oftentimes those presentations evoke emotion from who is witnessing the presentation. And that's a good thing with what I'm getting ready to say, but they have to buy in. If the team doesn't buy in, it's a fail.

I remember hearing that over and over and over from the CEO of our company. And I, you see it play out and you're like, "He's right," because you would see teams who would roll it out and it didn't land. For whatever reason, they didn't connect well enough. It's not okay. You can't just let that run. Especially when you're talking about strategic planning and vision and goals for the year, if people don't have buy-in, if they have an attitude about it, it may not mean that you did something wrong, but you need to think about the fact that what you just did failed. Is that because you have the wrong team members? Or is that because you need to work on connecting with them in a way that gets them on board for where it is that we're going, right?

I'm using these examples of, I was sharing with the incentive plan that was rolled out. I'm also using an example for setting vision and goals and rocks, etc. But this can be as simple as updating a system in your firm and explaining the changes in the system and watching people, you're getting the vibe from them that they don't like the changes that are made.

That's your job, is to be curious. This is not personal. It is your job to be curious. It is your job to look at that as feedback, that is data for you, and figure out what's underneath it. Get curious, sit down, have conversations from a really kind, clean, clear place, curious place, and find out what they don't like about the changes with that system in that last example. You will learn a lot by what they say.

Again, sometimes this might be just toxic team members, but sometimes they may say something that you didn't think of when you were making changes to the system. They might be right. Like, "Oh, yeah, that does contradict that. Okay." That's good feedback. This is not about you, it has nothing to do with your worth, the value you provide, how hard you worked on this thing. That's just not the case with this. And viewing it that way for yourself is unproductive.

A better stance is to measure the success on this in terms of how it was delivered. And if you don't feel like it was successful, in terms of how it was received, that's a better way to say it, how it was received, it's your job to dig in and find out why. And do so from a really curious place, not a place with an attitude, not where any defensiveness is coming out of any pore of you. That will make things worse.

So, to summarize, when you work really hard on something and it is your job to get buy-in. Maybe you haven't even been looking at that as your job. You're just thinking, "I need to inform people." But you need to be connected to how it's received because how well it's received will be a very strong indicator of how successful it will be in action.

So, when you roll it out, pay attention to how it's received. Do not take any feedback that's less than positive personally, even though that's tough and you may at first, but then redirect your brain after you've had some time to sit with it, redirect your brain and think about your job is to be curious and get data. You need to mine data from this whole experience so that you can learn what it's going to take to be more effective in the future.

Okay, everybody. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week. I will see you here next Tuesday.

Hey, you may not know this, but there's a free guide for a process I teach called Monday Map Friday Wrap. If you go to velocitywork.com, it's all yours. It's about how to plan your time and honor your plans so that week over week, more work that moves the needle is getting done in less time. Go to velocitywork.com to get your free copy.

Thank you for listening to The Law Firm Owner Podcast. If you're ready to get clearer on your vision, data, and mindset, then head over to VelocityWork.com where you can plug in to quarterly Strategic Planning, with accountability and coaching in between. This is the work that creates Velocity.