Rewrite Your Soundtrack: Lead Your Firm with the Right Mindset

Some of the thoughts running your life aren't true. They're just on repeat. Your loudest thoughts might be lies in disguise. So today, we are rewriting the ones holding you back.

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Hey everyone, welcome to this week's episode. I have so much to share with you guys. I have a backlog of content, mostly because I've been so inspired. I told you about the conference that I went to in St. Cloud, Minnesota. It was amazing. The content that I'm sharing today came from that, and so we'll dig into that. I also went to another conference, a workshop, last week with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. And this was the Conscious Entrepreneur Summit here, close to me; it was in Boulder. Man, between those two conferences and workshops, I have been exploding with ideas.

My team has been with me at both of those, and the conversations that we're having are looking very different than the conversations we were having prior to these workshops. It's been a very transformative time for us internally. And I attribute that to many things, but certainly, attending these two conferences, and especially with team, has really changed the game for us. I think we, as Velocity Work, will look back on this time and this was a pivotal time for us, and our trajectory will change because of the development that's happened for us internally. And I'm excited about that.

So I'm going to be bringing you thoughts that I have, and I've, you know, I'm working on fleshing them out further and creating outlines so that they're really helpful and they can land when I am sharing them here with you, and that you can use them in your own world.

Today, what we're going to be talking about is something that came out of the conference in St. Cloud, which was the Shift conference with Jon Acuff. Tara Gronhovd put it on. Align, her company, put it on. Jon Acuff was the keynote. And so there's concepts that I have been working with and journaling about and fleshing out how I want to share these concepts with you all so that, again, so they land well and in a useful way.

And the reason I'm doing this one today, because as I said, I have a backlog of episodes and content to share. The reason I'm doing this one is because it is about mindset. And what I have come to understand, or what has been put in front of my face—it's not that I didn't know this, but it's been put in front of my face—is that entrepreneurs, the number one thing that will make a difference in their success or not is their mindset. To some, that sounds fluffy. It's not.

And we get caught up, me too at times, we get caught up in wanting the tactical side of things and just tell me what to do, do, do, do, do. And the problem with that is if when you focus so hard on only that, there isn't a chance for your identity to evolve in a way that it needs to, so that your business can really thrive. And so if you're working with the same mindset as when you started your firm till now, even some of it, right? Just the repeat stuff that's going on in your brain, if you don't level that up, you're going to be cutting yourself off at the knees.

And why would we want to do that? We're working so hard for our clients, for our teams, so that the business is healthy, so that we can have the freedom and money that we would like to have as owners and there's all these things that get to benefit as we level up. And today's episode will be touching on that.

The conference I was at last week with Dr. Ben Hardy, that conference that he spoke at was called Conscious Entrepreneur Summit. And that room was about half of the entrepreneurs there were funded, and half were bootstrapped. So there were tech companies, I mean, there's all kinds of companies. This is in Boulder, you know, that's a pretty big startup capital in the nation. So, about half funded, backed by VC or private equity, and then half of us were not.

And so you have this room, and the common theme among all of the entrepreneurs that needed to be discussed and was the most helpful for people there. I mean, I'm talking to everybody, so I know that this is true, is mindset. It is about the identity shift that is required in order to be able to take your company where you want it to go. And I thought of, of course, myself, but I thought of my clients so much too. And thinking about, how can I really serve people with this information? How can I make sure that they understand this? We do talk about this some on this podcast.

But last week, I was smacked in the face with some of the things that it just reminded me fundamentally what is important, and you can't stop talking about it. It's not very often that I am in a room, and it wasn't a big room, there were probably a hundred people there. And at that conference, half the people there, knowing that they're funded and backed by VC or private equity, some have had Series A, Series B funding, so they're bigger companies. And then there's bootstrapped entrepreneurs who have small businesses all the way to large businesses. And the common theme in there was mindset.

You can't get away from that topic. Mental health was talked about, how you're thinking about where you're growing towards, your vision. All of that requires a leveling up in terms of identity, well-being, and the quality of your thinking.

So I definitely have information from that conference, from Conscious Entrepreneur Summit, that I'll bring here to you. But I'm going to start with some content that I have been writing down, journaling, thinking through, applying to myself from Shift. And this, what I'm sharing today, came specifically from Jon Acuff during one of his talks that he gave as the keynote speaker there.

Okay. Jon Acuff, two episodes ago, I shared with you a little bit about him and what I learned and that I'm a fan at this point of him. His book, I'm not sure if I mentioned it there. His most recent book is called Soundtracks. And it's all about the repetitive thoughts that you carry, how it shapes your identity, your behavior. So this falls right in line, as you can see, with some of the things I'm talking about from Conscious Entrepreneur Summit.

So, I want to make sure though, right up front, to give full credit to Jon Acuff for the ideas you're about to hear. What I am sharing today is just a distillation of the takeaways from his talk, from his book.

I would love to have him on the show one day to go deeper. But until then, I'm going to do my best to pass along some incredibly helpful insights. So let's get into it. What are soundtracks? A soundtrack is just a thought you've listened to so many times that it becomes a part of your identity. And not all soundtracks are created equal. Some move us forward, others hold us back. And the ones that hold us back, those unhelpful loops, that's what Jon calls broken soundtracks.

Here are a few that it's not uncommon to hear when working with clients: I'm not a good leader. There's not enough time. Delegation doesn't work for me. If I don't do it, it won't be done right. Things like that. And we all have versions of that. They feel true, but most of the time, they're just old stories playing on repeat. And here's something else. We don't just have soundtracks about ourselves. Like this is kind of me talking about the thoughts and the thinking that we have about ourselves and our experience. We have them about everyone in our lives: your partner, your team members, your clients, your kids. These loops affect how you relate to everyone around you.

So if you're running on broken soundtracks and you don't even realize it, that means you are leading your firm through a distorted lens. Okay, let's look at a few. When it comes to time, someone might say, "There's never enough time," or "I don't have enough time to get it all done." "I'll get to that once things settle down." There's that kind of soundtrack. And that keeps you reactive instead of intentional. Like you're settling for that.

When it comes to your calendar, if you tend to think or say out loud, "I'm not someone who sticks to schedules," or you have an aversion and there's some soundtrack in your head that is an aversion to sticking to a schedule, then you are reinforcing chaos by avoiding structure. When it comes to leadership, you may have a soundtrack: "I'm not meant to manage people," or "I'm not good at managing people." And so you white-knuckle everything yourself, and you stay stuck.

When it comes to vision and strategy, you may be thinking, "I need to fix the basics before I can think big." And that soundtrack will delay bold decisions, often for years because really, it's so subjective. Like, when are your basics taken care of? It doesn't need to prevent you from thinking big about your future and for the future of the firm.

These soundtracks don't announce themselves as wrong. They just play in the background over and over and over and over again. And you've gotten to the point where you believe them. Remember, the definition of a soundtrack is just a thought you've listened to so many times that it becomes a part of your identity. And your identity drives the train.

So Jon offers a great tool for evaluating the thoughts that you do keep on repeat. And when a thought gets loud, you can ask these three questions. Number one: Is it true? Number two: Is it helpful? And number three: Is it kind? So, if we walk through one, let's use the one, you know, I'm bad at managing people. Is it true? And answer the question. Like this is where pen to paper can be very helpful in these moments.

So, with the first question: Is it true? Maybe you have struggled, but you've also grown. And people can learn leadership. So, are you bad at managing people? That's a very subjective. How can it be truth if it's subjective? Right? And you may not think it is subjective. You may say, "No, no, seriously, I am bad." But you don't know where you are on the scale. You just know you. Is there room for improvement? I'm sure that there is. That's true for anybody. That's true for literally everyone out there. But there's no way that it is 100% true that you are bad at managing people.

Now, let's go to the second one. Is it helpful? Not even a little. This thought keeps you avoiding the very skill you need to improve. It's not helpful at all. It doesn't drive the right behavior.

Is it kind? No. You would not say that to someone in such a final way with that, like those words. You wouldn't look at someone else and say, "You are bad at managing people." You might have thoughts that you would share, but it wouldn't be that. But it's funny, this is how we talk to ourselves internally.

So these three questions can help disrupt the loop. It doesn't mean that it's just going to be, "Oh, I see. I'm just going to flip to something new." It's not always that easy. But these three questions give you some space from it, give you some distance from the loop, and help disrupt it. So that makes space for something new.

Now, here's an image that stuck with me from Jon's talk. What if your thoughts showed up as text messages to you? Like, what if you imagined reading, like, "You failed. Just wanted to remind you." He gave this example, you know, I think he was talking to his daughter about this, and she was being really hard on herself. And he tried to show her that what is going on in her head, the way that she's talking to herself, if a friend texted that message to her, she wouldn't even know what to do with it. It would, but she talks to herself that way all the time.

So, when you think about these messages, you're sending messages to yourself. These are messages that are happening in your brain to you, about you, about what's going on. And it just hit me. Like if I really got a message to me that said what sometimes my brain says to myself, I would be appalled. Like, no one would say that to me. Nor would I send that message to anyone else. And yet, we let that kind of messaging loop inside our own heads all day. That's a broken soundtrack.

This reminded me of a coaching tool that is often used in the coaching world. It's called bridge thoughts. So if we're sort of blending these two concepts here, it is almost like taking a broken soundtrack and adjusting it so that it doesn't feel unbelievable. Right? It has to be something you believe. And if you just flip to the opposite, you know, if you're thinking, "I'm a terrible manager," but then you think, "Oh, okay, just instead I need to think the opposite." That's not how it works.

You're not just automatically going to walk around and believe, "I'm an amazing manager." That's not going to happen. So there has to be bridge thoughts that can be very helpful in getting you to a more positive end of the spectrum, a more useful, productive end of the spectrum in terms of how your thoughts are contributing.

And so a bridge thought is a way of telling the truth, but in a way that's more productive and forward-moving, and it really does align very well with the three-question filter that he has: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?

So, if you think, "I am a terrible manager," that's the soundtrack, the broken soundtrack, then the bridge could be, "I'm learning to be a stronger leader, and every mistake is a chance to improve." Like, okay, that's much more productive. That's true. And it's not acting like you're the best manager on the planet. I'm learning to be a stronger leader, and every mistake is a chance to improve.

That's helpful. So you're still acknowledging reality, but now you're giving yourself room to grow. You're aligning with truth, with helpfulness, and with kindness. And I think this goes without saying, but just to be clear, even when we're talking about the text messages, if they popped through on your phone, what you say to yourself, and someone messaged you that, you'd be appalled. I'm not suggesting that people don't tell the truth. I'm suggesting that people filter to make sure that they are telling the truth and that they do it in a helpful and kind way. And that goes for you to yourself. So, us giving feedback to others, and also how we give feedback to ourselves. And it's work to practice this better alignment.

And so what we're kind of moving into with the discussion here is rewriting your soundtracks. So to rewrite your soundtrack, it's not about lying to yourself, it's not about faking positivity. It's about choosing a new thought that is true, helpful, and kind. Something you can actually believe and repeat. So we could try this with the broken soundtrack: I'm not a good leader. Rewritten: I am learning to lead, and I care enough to keep growing. I'm learning to lead, and I care enough to keep growing. Can you see how different of a vibe that is and how more useful and productive that is than "I'm not a good leader"?

All right. Next one. Broken soundtrack: There's never enough time. Rewritten: I choose what matters most, and I own how I spend my time. I choose what matters most, and I own how I spend my time. You see how much more helpful that is than, "There's never enough time"?

The third broken one that we'll go over: I'll focus on strategy when everything is fixed. Rewritten: Clarity on the big picture helps me fix what matters most. Clarity on the big picture helps me fix what matters most.

So, a lot of times when I'm working with clients, I will inadvertently give them new thoughts to think. I will give them new soundtracks. And actually, I don't always think of it like that when I'm having conversations with them, but I think it's one of the most important pieces of my job and my team's job. You are giving them new thoughts to think. You are giving them different perspectives that oftentimes feel relieving and feel good to move into. And what made me think to say that is that last one, clarity on the big picture helps you fix what matters most. That's true. I believe that. I talk to people about that all the time. And so it's nice to be able to really communicate with others, partner with people who care about you and who know the game, because they can offer you thoughts and different perspectives that can shift your soundtrack.

And when that happens, then the gates open for you, especially in terms of growth and options. This isn't about ignoring problems or ignoring issues. It is about approaching them from a place of truth that actually creates momentum.

So this week, here's a simple challenge. I want you to pay attention to what is going on in your head and identify one or two broken soundtracks that are loud in your head at this stage. And then run them through the three questions. Like, take the first one, just do one, because this will start to wake you up. Take the first one and ask: Is it true? Is it helpful? And is it kind? And then your job will be to start to write a new soundtrack that you believe. You need to believe whatever you're going to tell yourself to think, or it's not going to work. So you can use a bridge thought, or you can reframe your soundtrack to one that moves you forward.

You want to put it somewhere you see it every day, on a Post-it, on your calendar, on your phone lock screen, in your Monday map. You can revisit it. But you want to make sure that you are seeing this every single day, because it is not default. You're going to have to make it default. And if you want to make it default, you're going to have to keep it in front of your face. So this work is important, and then keeping it in front of you is essential so you can carry it out.

The way you lead your firm is shaped by the soundtracks you carry. This is stuff we all know somewhere deep down, right? And I see it a lot in the nature of my work. But sitting in Shift, this became very clear. And then sitting at the Conscious Entrepreneur Summit, this became even more clear, like smacked up the side of my head clear. The way you lead your firm is shaped by the soundtracks you carry. And your thinking drives your behavior. Your behavior, or the action that you take in the world, drives the results that you get.

So choose soundtracks that align with who you are becoming, who support the kind of leader you want to be, and soundtracks that help you move forward with clarity instead of confusion. You get to decide what plays on repeat. And you've also got your hand on the volume knob. So when you get the right thing, when you get something that's more useful, dial that puppy up.

Thanks for being here this week, guys. I'll see you next Tuesday.

Hey, you may not know this, but there's a free guide for a process I teach called Monday Map Friday Wrap. If you go to velocitywork.com, it's all yours. It's about how to plan your time and honor your plans so that week over week, more work that moves the needle is getting done in less time. Go to velocitywork.com to get your free copy.

Thank you for listening to The Law Firm Owner Podcast. If you're ready to get clearer on your vision, data, and mindset, then head over to VelocityWork.com where you can plug in to quarterly Strategic Planning, with accountability and coaching in between. This is the work that creates Velocity.